Preparing yourself for love

My 20s were, let’s say, exploratory. I was a late bloomer when it came to dating and relationships, and have been publicly open about the mountains of rejection I faced during the first two decades of my life. Once I came into my own, though, I made up for lost time.

Like many of us, it wasn’t until I really began growing beyond my hometown, developing my own identity and style, and learning the basic principles of what draws people to each other, that I started to understand the basics of attraction.

Today’s article isn’t about attraction though, it’s about love.

Love, being a far deeper and more meaningful experience, therefore requires a higher state of “readiness” in order to achieve.

I used to post a quote often that said “there’s no ‘wrong timing’ when you find the right person.”

Eventually, I learned that was bullshit.

The right timing, being in the right phase and mindset in life, and finding someone who is equally as ready to receive you, as you are them — is an immensely important part of building a relationship together.

I’ve said it before — if I’d met my wife Rachel during the “exploratory” years of my life, there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that we’d be together right now building a family together.

Equally true is that if she’d met me during her exploratory years, we possibly could’ve had a fleeting romance that never amounted to more than that.

Yet, here we are. Married, the kids (from her previous marriage) call me “Dad,” and we are officially “The Sama family.”

This is only possible because we were ready for the same things at the same time. Had the axes of our lives been off by even a single degree when we met, it may not have worked out.

This, and any relationship, requires an alignment of an infinite number of invisible circumstances that can really only be seen when we look back at them.

However, if we consciously set ourselves up to be ready to receive love, our chances of embracing it when it does arrive are infinitely better.

===> In this article are 12 things that I believe to be necessary “boxes to check” as individuals before we can be fully ready for love. Let me know in the comments which of these you’re challenged by, which you have achieved, and what you think is missing from the list.

As always, I look forward to your thoughts.

-James Michael Sama